"Well, She Did, And She Does, And She'll Do It Again"

Sunday, April 19, 2009
6:59 pm Still in bed. Don't judge me.

I don't knowwww what to blog aboutttt. I was in a really good mood (despite a hangover), and now I'm kind of blah. I don't know. Last night we celebrated Maria's birthday, and it was awesome. We had a ton of people over for pizza and cupcakes and beer pong, and then we went to The Tap in Fanueil where we danced and sang along to the live music. It was so fun, but when they played "Wonderwall" Maria teared up! And then I teared up. And Michelle teared up. And all of a sudden we were all hugging each other and singing along. It was the first time I've really gotten emotional thinking about the end of the school year and college and life as I know it.

I'm graduating in less than a month, and it's weird because things are starting to end. All of my final projects are due on April 30, and then I'm just... done. My internship will be wrapping up soon, as will my classes. I bought a graduation dress when I was home for Easter, and as much as I love shopping, it was weird. Sometimes I'll be walking down Comm. Ave, something I do every day, and I'll realize soon I won't be walking there every day anymore. I look at my friends and realize I won't see them all the time anymore either. We won't be able to run into each others' rooms when we finally wake up on a Saturday or Sunday morning to compare stories from the night before like we've done every weekend for the past four years.

I worked at the COM Accepted Students Open House yesterday, and I was remembering how four years ago, I was an accepted student attending that very open house, still not sure where I should go to school. By the time I left the Open House, I knew I wanted to go to BU. By talking to the students who were working at the Open House, I realized BU was the right school because I wanted to be like them. They were outgoing and smart and excited about their lives. That's how I wanted to be.

At the end of the day, there's a Student Panel where parents and prospective students can ask questions about anything from dining halls to classes to financial aid, whatever. I had been asked to be on the panel for the April 10 Open House, but I had my internship, so I couldn't go. I was bummed I wouldn't be able to do the Student Panel, because I have a very vivid memory of watching the student panel when I was a prospective student and thinking it was so cool. They didn't need me for this Open House's Student Panel, so I sat in the audience and watched a bunch of my friends do it. I was thinking back to how scared and nervous I had been about what my future held just four years ago when I realized how far I'd come. I was sitting in the front row with my boss, Bryan, the Manager of Student Services, and Micha, the Assistant Dean. Micha had once seemed so intimidating to me, and now, here I was, sitting with her, laughing and making fun of the people we knew on the panel. I had a real moment of "You've come a long way."

Now I'm sitting in my bed, still in my pajamas, watching reruns of "Jon and Kate, Plus 8." In a minute I'm going to make some dinner and then plan out the next two weeks of my life. Things are going to be crazy while I try to balance finishing my final projects and continuing to apply for jobs. But here's the thing: I don't feel stressed. For once. Shocker, right? I know. Of all the times to be freaking out in my life, this should probably be it, but I'm not. Because yesterday, working at the Open House and then seeing all of my closest friends dancing and singing together, I realized things work out. Everything worked out for me. It really makes me emotional to say that, but I couldn't be happier right now. When you realize that everything you've ever worried or stressed about turns out okay in the end, there isn't a better feeling. It's like you always hope things will turn out okay and brace yourself for when they don't.

But they did.

And they do.

And they will again.

Love,
Tara