"I Believe You Would Be Suspended."

Wednesday, May 6, 2009
10:34 pm Chocolate Almond Nougat Ben & Jerry's

Today I did a nine to fiver at COM Student Services. As I've grown older and advanced from young, wide-eyed, eager-to-please office assistant to older, senioritis-stricken senior office assistant, "working" in Student Services has involved less and less work. Sure, I'll file when I'm motivated. I'll answer a few phone calls. But these days, I mostly sit in the spinny chair at the window, look pretty, and flirt with the male student athletes who come by for advising.

Today was a little different. Having not been here last spring semester, I had forgotten how ridiculously CRAZY everyone gets this time of year. With graduation approaching and finals ending, suddenly people realize either 1.) they're not going to graduate or 2.) they won't be returning next semester. The title of this post is what I actually had to tell a student on the phone when he posed a "hypothetical" situation in which he failed several classes.

Luckily, there were no tears today, but I have made students cry before. I really do try to be as nice as possible... unless they're pissing me off. A few weeks ago this girl was frustrated with her life and decided to take it out on me. At one point, when I was trying to calmly explain her situation to her, she told me to, "Just give me the damn form." I'll let you imagine what happened next. Let's just say words were exchanged, and I haven't seen her since.

So, maybe I don't work super hard these days, but somebody's gotta man the window and answer the phone calls from hysterical students. Luckily, I can do all this while reading Cosmopolitan and picking out sports bras on VictoriasSecret.com.

Last night, we had a going-away dinner for all the COM employees. Our boss, Bryan, gave all the seniors awards. Mine?

Bryan: "Tara...you've gotta be the nicest bitchy girl I've ever met."

I choked up a little.

Love,
Tara