10:24 pm Home.
Sooo... that was college. I can't believe that chapter of my life is over. I'm not really sure how to write this blog post because I cannot possibly sum up the past four years in one post. Maybe I'll just sum up this past weekend.
So, after a crazy Senior Week (see photos here), came Commencement Weekend. It started on Friday with the Champagne Reception. Mom and Dad drove up Friday afternoon, and Stephanie left work early for the event. Kaitlyn had her Pops concert that night, so she stayed home with Meme. Drinking unlimited champagne on BU's dollar was most enjoyable, and it was so great to mingle with my friends and their families. The weather was sunny and warm too, so we got lots of great pictures on the BU Beach.
After the Reception, the four of us went to dinner at Top of the Hub. We had a view of the river from our table, and the food was great, as always. After dinner, Mom and Dad went back to the Marriott, Steph went back to her dorm, and I went back to mine. I went out to J Tree with some friends - my last night out as a college student - and practically lost my voice over the music, which made me a very nervous soon-to-be commencement speaker.
The next morning Mom and Stephanie drove back to CT to get Kaitlyn ready for her prom, and Dad and I spent the day together. After we had packed some of my stuff into the car and sent Mom and Steph on their way, Dad and I walked to Eastern Standard for breakfast. We spent most of the day walking around BU and talking. It was really nice. For lunch, I introduced him to Qdoba. Then, we went on a Riverboat Cruise with my friends and their families. Of course, by then, the weather was starting to turn, so it was hard to see the Boston skyline, but it was still cool.
After the cruise, Dad went back to the hotel to do some work, and I went back to my dorm to try to sleep. I knew there was no way I was going to sleep that night, so it was good I fit a little sleepy time in while I could. For dinner, we met at Noodle Street, Dad's favorite restaurant, and then we walked around the Prudential Building.
We met Mom back at the hotel later that night, after she had seen Kaitlyn off to the prom. Stephanie stayed behind to drive Kaitlyn and Meme up to Boston eeeeaaarrrly Sunday morning. Mom and Dad gave me my first graduation present, and I broke down and started crying. I hadn't cried all day, but all of a sudden I felt this wave of sadness and appreciation and nausea and fear and happiness, and I just burst into tears.
That night, my friends and I hung out in Jess' room, finishing off the bottles of wine we otherwise would have had to throw away. Then I practiced my speech for the last time and made myself go to bed.
When I woke up at 6 am the next morning, I was seriously kicking myself for ever submitting that stupid speech. If I hadn't submitted it, I wouldn't have been chosen to give it, and then I could actually enjoy graduation, instead of freaking OUT. The title of this post was the text I sent my family after I did a walk-through of Agganis Arena with the COM staff on Friday afternoon, only to find out there would literally be thousands of people in the arena, and I would be projected over the Jumbotron. It really couldn't get any worse.
Mom had warned me to eat a good breakfast so I wouldn't pass out on stage, but I was so nervous, I just couldn't. Instead, I stood back-stage in my cap and gown, gulping air and trying not to crease the pages of my speech.
Walking into the arena with the faculty at the end of the procession was pretty cool. And I felt a little like a rockstar when I was seated on stage with all those important people. Plus, I was workin' that mortar board. When Dean Fiedler finally announced me, I walked to the podium, thinking "Don't trip! Don't trip!" and began my speech. Once I heard people laughing at the first line, I relaxed a little. I suddenly didn't feel nervous, I was just enjoying it.
Suddenly, I heard a little clink on the podium. I looked down and realized one of my earrings had fallen out. One of my $28 earrings from White&Black that I loved SO much because they went so well with my dress FELL OUT OF MY HEAD WHILE I WAS SPEAKING TO THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE.
And I'm going to be honest with you, my only thought when I realized what had happened was...
F*CK.
I seriously considered doing nothing and just continuing on with the speech, looking slightly embarrassed and awkward as I addressed the entire student body and their parents with only one earring in, but then I had another thought.
"Oh, hell no. There is no way I'm speaking to all these people with one freaking earring in. I did not come this far to look like a fool."
So, I laughed, took out the other earring, and rocked my speech.
After it was all over, I ran backstage to see all the people I work with in COM. They were so happy for me! And they thought the earring thing was great!
"You were so smooth," said Laura. "You just looked down, laughed, and slipped the other earring out. It was so great."
My boss Bryan thought the earring thing was the best part! "You're always classy, Tara," he said.
Then, for the rest of the day, people were so sweet. Complete strangers were complimenting me, telling me how much they loved the speech. It was a great feeling.
At first, I was pissed about the earring thing, but now, I'm honestly glad it happened. Stephen said that in some ways, it was the best part of the speech. When people cheered as I slipped out the other earring in front of a few thousand people, it felt pretty cool. It was cool to be that cool under pressure. Who knew an earring could do so much??
The rest of the day was a blur. I went to the all-university graduation where I was so close to Larry Bird and Steven Spielberg, and then I joined my whole family for a great dinner. It was the perfect day.
Today, reality is sinking in. I'm home now, and I love home, but I'm going to miss college. And in many ways, I'm so glad I can say that because there was a long time where I thought I would never be sorry to leave college. Spending every second of this last week with my friends is something I will never forget, and I'm so glad I met so many people who have changed my life. If I learned anything in college, it's that things get better.
I know I can't stay, but I don't want to go. PostSecret.com posted all of these "One Line Commencement Speeches," and as I was reading them last night, I just burst out into tears. I know it's going to be okay, but it's scary when you don't know what comes next. I know it's not entirely my fault, but I do kind of feel like a failure for not having a job yet. I'm trying to get over that, but it's hard when things don't go the way you imagined them.
Whether I like it or not, I've entered a new chapter of my life. I don't know how it will go, and I have no idea what happens next, but I'm going to keep trying to make things work. And I'm going to try to live by all the things I said in my speech. I've got a check for $2500 telling me I should keep practicing what I preach.
And, as always, a new life chapter means a new blog. I don't know what I'll name the new blog yet. I floated the idea of going from "Hot Child in the City" to "Jobless Loser at Home" to my family, and they all laughed... but they didn't disagree, so maybe I'll go with that...
I don't know who I am, or what happens next, but I know I'm not a Hot Child in the City anymore.
And that's okay.
I'm kind of excited to see what I'll become next.
While everyone's lost,
the battle is won
with all these things that I've done.
Love,
La Viajera
