Just because something didn't work in the past doesn't mean it never will - history is a teaching device, not a yoke.

Sunday, September 28, 2008
6:09 pm El dormitorio

Hmm... I don't really feel like writing. But, I haven't updated in a while, so I feel like I should. We're gonna do this in list form because I don't have the energy to be creative, right now.

1.) I cut off all my hair. See pictures below. It's something I've wanted to do for a while, and I thought it might look good. Naturally, I was correct. I really liked having long hair, but I needed a change. I figured new life, new attitude, new hair. It was a natural sequence of events. Let me know what you think.

It's really short...!

Oh, gee, I just happened to be posing... (side view)

Ok, ok, I'll smile nice.

2.) I just had an excellent weekend. Stephanie and I ventured home to celebrate Mom's bday, and it was a good time. It's just nice to spend a weekend at home once in a while. I made Mom a delish birthday breakfast, and last night we went to Mohegan Sun for dinner at Tuscany's. Then, we came home and watched Casablanca. I brought Kaitlyn lunch at the toy store today, but got sucked into wrapping a couple presents there. It's like the wrapping paper was calling to me. Overall, a fabulous weekend. However...

3.) I left a load of laundry in the dryer! I don't know what I'm going to do without my strapless bra. I mean, I'm going to have to wait until...

4.) The Applefest. If I'm going. Is anyone going? Oct. 18 and 19. I'll send out a Facebook message. I think I'd like to go, but it means I won't have a normal weekend at school for like, a month because...

5.) This weekend, I went home for Mom's bday. Next weekend, Steph and I are going to Robbi's. The weekend after that, Kaitlyn is coming to stay in Boston while Mom and Dad go to Lake Placid. Then, the next weekend is Applefest! Which means for the next month, I'll only really get to go out with my friends on...

6.) Thursday nights. What a brilliant invention. Why haven't I been going out on Thursdays all along? Oh that's right, because I want to kill myself the next day. But still. We usually go to Joshua Tree which is great because I get to see so many...

7.) Cute guys! Seriously, they're everywhere. Calling, messaging, texting... It's like once you're really emotionally single, they sense it, and they flock. Stephanie says she thinks I'm giving off an "available" scent. Whatever it is, I love it.

So, that's it. The top 7 things on my mind. Notice how work or money isn't one of them? That's because I'm trying to think about these things as little as possible. This isn't unhealthy. I'm still aware of them. I'm just over focusing on the negative. FINALLY.

Love,
Tara

What I'm reading:
http://www.wired.com/print/cars/coolwheels/magazine/15-11/ff_cannonballrun

What I'm watching:
http://news.aol.com/elections/article/laughing-all-the-way-to-the-voting-booth/189812?icid=100214839x1210228300x1200630024

You have several viable options regarding a business, health, or creative affair.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

1:24 pm My room

This weekend was awesome. Probably the best since I've been back at BU. Most of this is probably due to the fact that I actually let myself go out more than once this weekend, but still. It was excellent. Let's recap, shall we?

I'll begin with Thursday, because that's when the weekend starts when you're in college. I had a lovely day at my internship. They ordered lasagna from Upper Crust for all of us and it was delish until I realized I could taste cow. Turns out, I had taken a piece from the dead animal lasagna, not the vegetarian lasagna. Oops.

Anyway, internship was good, then I came back to the penthouse, and we all decided we were going to go to Joshua Tree that night. Maria and I went on a liquor run to Marty's, came home and ate, and then began the getting ready process. We all prettied ourselves up, and then everyone converged in Noelle's room to pregame.

We got to J Tree early, so there was almost no line which was very nice. It was very crowded, but we went downstairs to the dance floor and let loose. The beauty of J Tree is that you're guaranteed to run into at least 10 people you know because every BU student goes there on Thursday nights. I ran into a lot of people I hadn't seen since Spain. Tara Tequila was in all her glory.

Friday: Woke up a bit hungover. Went to the internship and Amanda gave us the assignment of running around Boston to find stores and restaurants that had just opened that we could feature. This was fun, except I was wearing new shoes that literally sliced my feet open. Came home exhausted at the end of the day, and a man on the T asked me why I looked so sad. I told him I was just tired.

I didn't go out Friday night, but hung out with everyone while they pregamed and danced to Tina Turner in our room. I was a little bummed about not going out because they were going to Liquor Store which was supposed to be great, but Maria texted me at 1:42 in the morning to say, "Liquor Store is gay," so I don't think I really missed out. The only thing I regret is not seeing Jess ride the mechanical bull.

Saturday morning I woke up relatively early and went to the gym for a quick elliptical sesh. That afternoon, I met Stephanie at the Prudential Center for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Before we left for school in August, Dad gave us each $50 gift cards to the Cheesecake Factory, with only one condition: we have to use them on each other. Lunch was yummy. We mostly talked about Kaitlyn, much to her delight, I'm sure. Then, we did a little shopping for Mom's bday (Sept. 25!), because we're going home next weekend to celebrate it.

After we parted ways, I came back to the room and cleaned and did some work. And by "did some work" I mean I took a nap. After dinner, Noelle came over, and as she and I painted our nails, we all discussed our plans for that evening. Maria, Erin, Noelle, and I all decided to go to Jake Ivory's over by Fenway to meet some of Erin's friends from Northeastern. We'd never been before, and were quite excited.

The bar was so great! There's an $8 cover, but it's this really cool piano bar where the guys sing and duel each other and everyone at the bar just dances and sings along. Erin's friends were really nice guys, and this guy bought me a drink as soon as I got there so I couldn't have been happier. Then the bouncer, Eddie, gave me purple beads as part of some hot girl contest and an invitation to his cage wrestling match. PLUS, I knew one of the guys playing piano! He went to GHS, so I talked to him a little while he was taking a break on stage. It was all pretty sweet.

Now, it's Sunday. I already went to the gym, so I think I'm going to clean my room, do some laundry, and get some work done before the Emmy's tonight. SO EXCITED. Anyway, I think the moral of this weekend is, sometimes you need to forget the negative, stressful things in your life, and just let yourself have fun.

So, I'll leave you with a line from a song they played at the bar last night, that Maria keeps blasting from her room:

I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier.

Love,
Tara


What I'm reading:
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/how_the_moultons_made_peace_with_the_war/
http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/09/zimbabwe200809
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/03/10/080310fa_fact_collins
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/articles/he_s_with_tom/
http://www.style.com/vogue/feature/080108VFEA/

What I'm watching:
http://entertainment.msn.com/video/playern/?pid=2HLU_6evr__HBxqGVi6GzXEVAFNFvEq0&GT1=42003
http://www.new.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D6k8zS2P5cZQ&h=415b8130b0d9cc0ee56c6648239728a2

What I'm listening to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6ERe23kSBM

Are you connected to people who don't seem to be capable of fulfilling their commitments?

Monday, September 15, 2008
5:45 pm My desk

I have a story due tomorrow. It's the first story that I've had to write this semester, and it's for my JO 309: Feature Writing class. My professor, Mitchell Zuckoff (rhymes with "book-off," not the expletive), is already my favorite professor so far at BU. I actually enjoy his 3-hour long class every Tuesday.

Anyway, this story... I have to write it. And it's stressing me out. Now, I know you're all looking at your computer screens thinking, "...so write it, already!" but it's not that easy. There's a process. It's a little OCD, and it stresses me out, but I have to do it every time I go to write, or I'm even more stressed out... and then I can't write at all. I'm not crazy, I'm just fussy. Lots of writers are very particular about the conditions in which they write (I think/hope). You might even call me a creative genius. No? Just throwing it out there...

So, the process: First, I put off starting the process for as long as I can. When I start to get heartburn because the article is due in less than 24 hours, I begin. I read through all my notes, and if I've used a tape recorder to record the interview, I transcribe the whole thing. Which took me about 6 hours yesterday for a 40 minute interview. Then I print out the interview, and put them in a pile with any additional notes and quotes I have from terts (tertiary sources...love the lingo). Then I might go through the notes again and highlight any great quotes, but by now I usually get annoyed and just want to write blindly. I almost never start from the beginning because usually I don't know how I want to start. I like to do something basic, like the background stuff first. Then, before I know it, I'm rolling.

When I get stuck, I read. I read past articles I've written. I read stories out of magazines I like. I flip through Susan Orlean's The Bullfighter Checks Her Makeup, to get inspiration. I also like to go back and read what I wrote when I'm stuck, to see if I can get back into the flow of the piece. I edit out stuff I don't like. Move stuff around. Jot down ideas about other paragraphs to include. Play with my hair a lot (put it up, take it down).

Gum is a must. I like to knead it between my teeth when I'm frustrated and snap it when I come up with something really good. I can't have anything cluttering my desk except my notes and a bottle of water and a pencil. Not a pen. It has to be silent, and it helps if I'm a little cold. I don't like to wear shoes. I can't have chapped lips. And I hate being interrupted.

When I've finally finished the story (usually a few hours before it's due), I read through it and edit. Sometimes I delete entire sections. I'd rather write everything and then go back and take stuff out then feel like the story isn't complete. I almost always end with a quote a la Susan Orlean. Then I like to read the story to my parents or my sisters. I don't read it to my friends, and if I'm at school, I call my parents up to read it to them. If it's too late, I don't read it to anyone.

And if it weren't for the incredible feeling of satisfaction I get when I complete a good story, I think I would hate my major. I hate the stress, and I hate the pressure I put on myself to produce something good. When I graduate, I'll get a Bachelor of Science in Journalism, but that never made sense to me. It feels like an Art. I take my own interpretation of a person or an event or a story and put it into words for other people to interpret. That's all creativity...there's no scientific formula. I never liked science.

Once I hand the story in, either to my editor or my professor, I don't like to change it. This past summer my editor asked me to add something to a story to make it longer, and it physically pained me. I couldn't bring myself to do it. And when something gets published, and my title gets changed, it drives me crazy. They say not to get attached to your words, but that's all I've got! I made those words on that page! I put them in that order for a reason. I put serious thought into how each word and sentence sounds.

Some writers write like they're writing. I write like I talk. I used to think it made me sound less educated or intelligent than other writers. Now, I'm finding out it's just my style. And people like it.

Now that I've gotten myself all worked up about writing, I should probably go write.

But the most important part of my writing process?

Procrastinate for as long as is humanly possible.

Is it too early for dinner?

Love,
Tara

You're apt to be fielding suggestions concerning your general modus operandi.

Thursday, September 11
11:23 pm My room in the Penthouse

Today was an excellent day. Tuesday and Wednesday...not so good. But, today? Well done. Tuesday started well because I had my fav class, Feature Writing, in the morning, but it steadily went downhill when it started to pour, and I thought I was going to have to give a tour of COM that I didn't know how to give, and then I had another three hours of a painfully boring class, and then I went all the way out to Harvard to interview this guy for a story...and he didn't show up. By the time I got back to my dorm that night, I was a stressed, pissed off, mess. I even scared Maria when I came through the door, threw my back pack, and screamed. It felt good though.

Then, I woke up Wednesday, still in a bad mood, and hopped in the shower to get ready for work. In the midst of leaning back to rinse my hair, my entire neck seized up, and I was suddenly in excruciating pain. I could barely move my neck. Turns out, I'd had a neck spasm. And, according to the Internet, they're usually caused by... STRESS! Can you even believe it? I mean, when have I ever felt stress? So, I texted Ryan to tell him I couldn't come into work (I was working at Student Services that day), popped some Advil, and went back to bed. This may not sound like such a bad thing, but it hurt so bad that I couldn't even really enjoy it. Later, Ali gave me a heating pad thingy and Jess (she's a physical therapy major) came over to give me some stretches to do. Both things helped a lot. It still hurts, but it's much better.

One of the articles I read as I sat at my computer, supporting my neck with one hand and typing with another, said that when one gets a Charlie Horse of the neck, one should probably make some life adjustments to prevent it from happening again. It basically said to take it as a sign that your body is pissed at you. Never one to ignore random articles on the Internet, I took this advice to heart. I made a list of things that help me feel relaxed, made a homework schedule so that I do a little bit of work each night to prevent a panic attack on Monday nights before my Tuesday classes, and today, I bought an AirWick relaxation flameless candle for my room. The lavendar and chamomile scents are supposed to soothe me, but so far my room just smells like men's cologne.

Anyway...today. Woke up and went to the internship. It went by fairly speedily and painlessly. I got to run around returning belts and necklaces we had borrowed for a fashion shoot, so I got to pretend like I was the Boston version of Lauren Conrad. That was fun. I got an excellent salad from Au Bon Pain for lunch, and when I was walking back to work, a guy stopped me and said, "You know, you look beautiful." And I was like, "THANK YOU!" Because he didn't say it in a creepy, lecherous, perverted older man kind of way. He just said it in a 'I just think you should know' kind of way. It was very refreshing, especially considering usually when a creeper "compliments me" I have this overwhelming urge to rip off his penis and beat him with it. For example, this happened the other day when a homeless man got in my face and said "Heyyyy babyyyy, you'd be even prettier if you smiled," to which I responded, "What makes you think I want to be prettier?" Oooh, perverted homeless men are no match for my wit. Anyway, men reading this, take note.

When I got back to the office, they let me do a small write-up for a play coming to Boston which was vair exciting because I got to be cheeky in the blurb, and they're putting my name on it. After work, I came back to the penthouse briefly to change and eat before my interview with Harvard boy...again. Crossing my fingers that he'd actually show up this time, I walked into Au Bon Pain (Harvard Square) and realized... he was cute! Too bad he's a Republican. The interview went very well, and I used my handy tape recorder, something I haven't done before. I think it's going to make the story even better, because I have all the quotes word for word. I seriously got goosebumps listening to all the awesome quotes I got on the recording. I'm a nerd, I know.

When I got home, I found several of my friends in my living room, and on my computer Jess had left me a 40% coupon for Banana Republic for this weekend. Hurray!

Now, I'm showered and ready for bed. I'd like to do some work, but I'm just too tired. I think I'll just crawl into bed with some Grey's Anatomy reruns and Tostitos and cheese dip. Not exactly healthy, but whatever. I deserve it. Mmmmm....

Love,
Tara

Be careful how hard you push over work or money.

Thursday, Sept. 4, 2008
11:19 pm My dorm room

Welcome Back to the Blog!
I finally got around to starting a new one. And by "got around to" I mean I thought about it for a week and then decided to actually create it when I should have been doing work. Anyone surprised? My friends all went out to Joshua Tree for a big back-to-school shindig, but I thought arriving hungover at my internship tomorrow might not be a great idea. Look at me, being responsible.

I started my internship today, and it went really well. We have our own "intern" room that has a bunch of computers and phones and back issues of magazines. There was only one other intern there today, Lindsay. She's been working there since May, and she helped me out a lot. I learned the proper way to "fact-check" (lots of color-coded highlighting is involved), and spent most of the day working on the huge calendar section they have at the back of the magazine. My boss even let me leave at 2 because it was my first day! I felt so grown up and cool when I got off the T at Arlington to join the masses of business people chatting on their cells, Starbucks in hand, on their way to work. The coolness wore off a little when I realized I was a half hour early. Old habits die hard.

I wore my super cute I-work-for-a-hip-trendy-urban-magazine dress, and my I'm-carrying-a-huge-black-business-bag-so-you-should-probably-take-me-seriously bag. Check out the pic below. No one was around to take my picture, so I had to do it in the mirror.



Don't you love?

Anyway, being back has been great but, you guessed it, stressful. My schedule is quite literally insane. I need to adjust it before I have a mental break down. By the end of my first day of classes on Tuesday, I was already telling myself to take deep breaths. I think I need to buy a self-help book on dealing with stress. No, seriously. Noelle just came into my room to tell me I need to talk to somebody. She was drunk, but still. She's probably right.

Moving on... having a kitchen is something new and exciting for me this semester. I'm living in a suite in the Student Village (*pause to hear the angels singing*). Our apartment is brand spanking new, is air-conditioned, is on the 10th floor, has a gorgeous view of the city and the sun when it sets, and consists of four single bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, and a kitchen. My dad calls it "The Penthouse."

Needless to say, at the end of one of my hectic days, the last thing I want to do is stir-fry some tofu and create a real meal. So, most of the time I rely on trusty TV-dinners. See below for a typical meal.

Tuesday night's meal consisted of a lovely spinach salad with cherry tomatoes and carrots with my favorite Ken's Italian dressing. I also heated up a "Smart Ones" fettucini alfredo with broccoli, and had a little wine with the hopes of "unwinding" like real adults do. It was gross though, and I ended up dumping it out in favor of water. That's what you get for buying $7 wine, I guess.

Despite the fact that I am a master procrastinator, I have managed to do some work this evening. I'm reading "On Writing Well" by William Zinsser for my Feature Writing class. And it's really written well! Go figure. I'm actually kind of enjoying it. I just read this chapter titled, "The Audience." It's about asking yourself the question, "Who am I writing for?" Apparently, the answer you're supposed to give is "myself." I thought about it, and I found this isn't usually the case. I think it's hard to write for yourself as an intern or a student, when other people are telling you what to write.

But, I have my blog. And I get to write about whatever I want, however I want. This is the first time I've felt moderately relaxed all day. While I love that my friends and family read my blog and give me feedback, sometimes I get nervous about how people are going to interpret what I write. But I've decided I can't let that happen, because in the end, I'm doing this for myself.

Zinsser: Who are you writing for?

ME.